Stinky Pork-breath Nyonya

What about people that makes you annoyed? Irritated? Pissed?The way they dress? Speak? Smell? Look? Walk? Laugh? Cough?As for me, all of the above, thanks.What matters the most – First Impression.As much as I hate being someone who’s quick to judge, I can’t help but stamping a label on someone, faster than the speed of light. I’m like one of those gigantic stamping machines in those huge factories in Malaysia. (Oh they just love airing shows like that, on hydroponic farms, production factories, etc, what’s with that???)

I boarded a bus this evening, greeted by cute, whiny familiar voices as soon as I planted one foot in, “MISS LELAAAAA!” Boy, I thought I was in some nightmare, you know how dreams changes from one scene to the other, weirdly. But no, I wasn’t. I was smacked right in the middle of reality. I miss my students, oh well.

Moving on, I stood for a few stops, and finally got a seat. Then boarded a kiasu-looking Chinese lady, probably in her mid or late-thirties. She conveniently parked her INTERNET-BIG butt next to me, leaving me squirming for space.

The BEST thing was, we were in a CURSED position. We were right in between poles. So it’s a pole-her-me-pole position. JESUS! It couldn’t get any worse! Well eventually it did! After the last stop in Pasir Ris, (before the bus passes the Expressway to Sengkang) I learnt that I have to ENDURE the sickening and awkward position throughout the journey! She was still glued next to my seat. Urgh!

Because it was the peak of all hours, the Expressway was flooded with influx of vehicles. THANKS!!!! It was sickening, the fact that her right shoulders overlapped my left. She did wriggle a little, and we ended up like 2 Satay, before BBQ-ed. Awkward, I had to lean to my right, I was really, the leaning tower of Pisa.

To top it all, she had a stinky Pork breath. I wasn’t expecting a minty-fresh breath. Well, judging from her Nyonya-attire, and her demeanor, the way she looks for seat kiasu-ly. C’mon, what’s with smelling like a PIG man!

I doubt she’s human. I never question the ability of my Spider-senses. I know for a fact that I am not always right, but I’m never wrong. She’s not human. She’s a Pig in disguise. Shhh…

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